Dancing has long been used as a social mechanism, allowing people get to know one another. However, for many individuals, dancing is terrifying, embarrassing and downright awkward. If you are a wall flower born with two left feet, but have your eye on a dance partner, you can learn to slow dance in a style that is socially acceptable with room for development of personal flair.
Understanding Dance Music and Rhythm
Dance music tends to vary, depending on the occasion and culture. Your generic prom, Bar Mitzvah and wedding will have its classic dances (aka "The Electric Slide" and "The Macarena"), but these are not the titles to be concerned with. The average slow dance is a ballad, a love song with lyrics calling for an unrequited love or in praise of a lover's charm. Before you learn to dance, you must be able to find the rhythm in this music.
Most popular ballads are written with eight beats in a phrase. If this is confusing, turn on the radio and try counting to eight repeatedly, both quickly and slowly, to a slow song. Pop music almost always follows this eight-count rhythm. Identifying this rhythm is a natural skill that requires little knowledge of music theory; our brains can quickly attach to musical patterns. Slow dances can be counted quickly, but it is best to take them slowly to exaggerate the emotional factor.
Depending on the style and country of origin, more advanced dance styles will use different music and different rhythmic patterns. For example, a waltz is performed to classical music written in three or six count phrases. For the purposes of the basics, concentrate on finding an even beat.
Simple Slow Dance Basics
Practice before you ask someone to dance. This is a precaution---if you know you are going to be nervous, it is always best to be prepared. Also, your partner does not want their feet stepped on; practicing will help to avoid that situation. Don't get a broom and sway around your room with Enrique Iglesias blasting, but think about moving your feet when brushing your teeth before bed.
Finally, the event is here. Take a partner in hand and use your understanding of move to develop a form. A basic slow dance is comparable to an extended hug. Gentlemen embrace the lady's waist, between her ribcage and her hips. Any lower or any higher, and the lady would not consider her partner a true gentleman. Ladies typically hold their partner around his neck. Adjustments can be made for heights; do whatever is most comfortable.
Partners can be either close together or far apart enough to carry on a conversation. Determine this from your own comfort level. Don't hold your partner at arm's length, it makes them feel like you don't want to touch them. On the other hand, don't strangle them, either. Choose if you want to let the lady rest her head on the gentleman's shoulder. Making conversation is also appropriate, but if the dancers are nervous, conversation is not always the best option.
As soon as everyone is comfortable, move slowly to the music. Sway side to side, rotate slowly in a circle. As with most traditional dancing, the gentleman should be the leader. However, because there is not much motion involved in a typical slow dance, no one needs to dominate the direction. Let it happen naturally.
Advanced Skill Development
Most social events of this century do not call for slow dances more complicated than already described. However, if your feet are itching after watching the Paso Doble on shows such as "Dancing with the Stars," by all means read on.
Nothing is more impressive than a partner who can dance a particular step. However, it is rare that a classical waltz or Argentine tango will be played in a typical social occasion. Traditional dances that retain their popularity in social situations are quick and energetic, such as swing, salsa, cha cha, rhumba and, occasionally, the fox trot. These dances require strong male leaders and that both partners are aware of steps and stylistic conventions.
If you want to develop your moves, there are numerous ways to do so. Attending clubs with special theme nights allows you to meet partners who have an interest in dancing in different styles. Taking classes at a local studio is another fun option. Studios are offering ballroom classes as a result of dance's return to popular television. Most classes do not require a partner. Finally, learning at home can be fun, too. Rent DVDs with instructional narration you can rewind over and over again if you miss a step or are confused. Slow dancing is a simple skill that can be developed in any desired direction.
