No one would want to get on Voldemort's bad side, but if you were looking for a guaranteed way to get yourself killed or at the least Crucio'd, you could use any of these many ways. All of the ways would be 100% accurate and more than sufficient to make Voldemort angry, even though he is just a fictional character in the Harry Potter book series. Follow these steps to make Voldy angry.
Instructions
1. Make him feel inferior. Call him "The Man Who Let the Boy Live," and ask him how come he does not have such an awesome scar. Paint all of the Death Eater masks and robes with pink paint and glitter. Tell him you don't know how he can hate such a sweet, innocent little boy.
2. Roll your eyes when he's describing his new plans, and say things like "it's your funeral" and "you're the boss, boss." When his plans are ruined, give him flowers and pat him condescendingly on the head. Do the "loser sneeze" to him and see if he gets the joke.
3. Tell him to stop repressing his anger when he gets infuriated, and then proceed to buy him a stress ball. Go around calling him Tommy-boy and Voldie-poo. Constantly recommend he get some professional therapeutic help. Make him a theme song and sing it whenever he says or does something particularly evil. Make fun of him at great lengths for having been defeated by a one year old. Stress the fact that Harry was simply a baby, a one year old.
4. Tell him that you have known many more evil people than he. To make it even worse, remind him that technically, he isn't even really alive. Make sure you repeatedly insist that you don't know how he could be afraid of a sweet old man like Dumbledore. Remind him that, in fact, the man he's afraid of is frail and withered, almost 100 years old and has a beard that looks like a beehive.
5. Repeatedly use the phrase, "Riddle me this!" since his last name is Riddle. Mimic and mock everything he says. Tell him his actions could be commonly classified as acts of repressed homosexuality. Make fun of his lack of hair. Schedule him a haircut, even though he's bald. When he asks why, say it was an "accident." Tell everyone you meet that he's really just a big push-over and that you taught him everything he knows.
